Good morning,

The committee met briefly this morning and determined that today will be mostly good, with a slight chance of not good. The outcome will be decided on a person to person basis, with those of you who arrived with a positive outlook enjoying the first option, while the rest of you will be experiencing EITHER the first, or the second option.

So, make any changes necessary to accommodate this quasi-decision.

Oh, and the committee has some good news, too. They just saved a bunch on their car insurance, by switching to public transportation.

And today's helpful trivia is: The literal translation of "gymnasium" is "a place for naked exercise". Let's all be thankful that there are people who do NOT take things that literally.

Godspeed, and Happy Monday,

The steering-clear of the Gym anyway Decider

Greetings,

The committee met last night to determine today's outlook. And, I am proud to say, that it does indeed look promising. The committee was unable to come to a specific decision, but it's going to be somewhere between "Fine" and "Holy Cow this day was Awesome!!!" For those of you who prefer stronger words than "fine" I welcome you to send your own descriptors (or "adjectives") to the Decider. Updates will be sent as they are deemed appropriate.

In other news, the committee would like to remind you all that it is important to use realia on a regular basis during the educational day. And, in order to ensure that this is occurring, please hit "reply to all" with a list of all realia to be used today.

Also, the committee has been asked to double-check that we are encouraging our students to focus on prosody today, as always.

Enjoy the day, and the Decider looks forward to your responses...

The fancy-word-using Decider

Greetings fellow EWHers,

The committee met briefly this morning before adjourning to enjoy the tasty treats provided by "The Amazing B--" in the Workroom. On behalf of the esteemed committee, much thanks goes out to TAB. (That's your new nickname, "TAB". Cool, isn't it?) And, unbeknownst to TAB, today is officially National Cookie Day, and since donuts are basically just puffy cookies with a hole in 'em, it worked out pretty well.

The committee's decision in regards to today was that it will indeed be: Long. They apologize, but it was unavoidable. (The rest of the week having been so darn wonderful, they felt we were due to have a bit of a change.)

And, remember, the committee has asked that if you have any needs that are not being met by the committee, please pass them on.

Thank you, and Godspeed,

The inspired and encouraged Decider

Good morning fellow mind-openers,

The committee met briefly on Tuesday night, last week, to determine what today will look like. Alas, due to imbibing too much mulled cider and a little too much egg nog, they forget to pass the decision on to me. However, as I am the Decider, and that is not just a figurehead position, I have decided that I am going to go ahead and fill the void left by their irresponsibility.

Today will be December-iffic. (Yeah, it's a word. You wanna challenge the Decider?!)

To all of those skeptics/scrooges, I say this: Bah! Humbug! And, to those of you who are filled with the child-like wonder of the season, I say this: Merry Tidings to you, in this joyous and peace-filled season. Let us all take it upon ourselves to spread the kind of cheer we would like to receive.

Godspeed,

The cinnamon-scented Decider

Good morning,

The committee, in response to a request by a concerned citizen, has decided
that today will have a decidedly hopeful outlook. While they are unable at
this time to guarantee a wonderful day will be had by all, the forecast is
indeed favorable, so please plan accordingly.

In order to ensure quality customer care, please feel free to contact a
member of the committee with any specific requests you may have regarding
the daily PSA. It is the committee's hope that in time, all needs may be
met in a timely and expedient fashion.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

The concerned-for-your-needs Decider

Greetings,

The committee met last night and I have great news to report. After yesterdays...well, somewhat less than optimistic report, today will indeed be...dare I say...spectacular?

Apparently, although reports are somewhat sketchy, shockingly wonderful things are in store. So, be prepared to be wowed by the wonderfulness that is...today.

In other news, according to NBC news, pirate attacks are up 70% this year.*

Thank you, and Godspeed...

The hopeful Decider

*actual statistics

Greetings EWH,

The committee met briefly last night to discuss what today will look like. I
am sad to day, the outlook is bleak. The committee was despondent,
pessimistic, and hopeless. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Godspeed...

The Decider who NEEDS HELP

Greetings,

The committee met last night and discussed, as usual, what today will look like. However, they did ask that I begin this PSA with a note of utmost importance. Today, October 8th, 2008, is the last day that those of us who live in Missouri can register to vote. We have until 5:00 this afternoon to either go to the KC election board, which is downtown on the 1800 block of Walnut, or to any of our fine public libraries. It is painless, quick, and quite thrilling to be able to participate in our civic duty. Do not let the fact that you are not registered to vote YET deter you from getting registered. And, for those of you who may not feel informed about this election, the committee has authorized me to provide you--at your request--with numerous fact-oriented and unbiased websites and resources to help you determine which candidate will best represent you and your interests.

Now that that is out of the way, the committee has also asked that I relay a bit of information given to the committee last night by a special guest speaker on Quantum Physics. The speaker talked about "Strange Attractors", which are physics phenomena that have some interesting characteristics. Strange attractors seem erratic, spontaneous, unpredictable even. (Somewhat like our students, no?) However, given the opportunity to observe and collect data over a period of time (and several dimensions), these strange attractors reveal themselves to be beautiful ultra-ordered systems. ( http://wynchar.com/cpc/Complexity/gifs/LorenzStrangeAttractor.gif.) In addition, the committee would like to suggest the idea that chaos, in a quantum physics sense, is not chaos at all—merely order in disguise.

Let us remember THAT, as we work with our chaotic, unpredictable, erratic students today....


Thank you, that is all.

The Decider
--

Greetings.

The committee met this morning in what can only be described as a soggy
session. However, the outcome was overwhelmingly positive; there was no
mudslinging, no negativity, no condescending ads stretching the truth and
the bounds of decorum. (In other words, it was the opposite of this
presidential election!)

Anyway, the outcome, like I said, was exceedingly positive. So, you can all
rest easy knowing that a fantastically productive day is ahead of you.

Thank you, and that is all...

The Decider

...

The committee has requested that when you get a moment, share with the rest
of the staff any good things that have happened today. It's dreary, and
there is a possibility that there are some in our building who are not
having a good day.

Let's spread a little cheer!

Who wants to share some good news from today?

The Decider

Greetings EWH,

The committee met in a public forum on Sunday in order to determine what
today will look like. Due to the tumultuous nature of the economy, the
seemingly endless nature of this presidential campaign season, and the
abysmal fall television show line-up, today will be shockingly fun and
unexpectedly productive. Your students will most likely come with all of
their homework ready to turn in, the planners signed, and all of their math
facts...er, "combinations" will be memor...learned thoroughly. Their
reading fluency will have improved by 73 1/2%, in a criterion-based,
norm-referenced, non-biased reliable assessment, that has not yet been
delivered. However, you should take the committee at their word on this.

So, you have that going for you.

This weeks task? Surprise one student each day with a note in their planner
or on an assignment telling them how great a job they are doing in school
this year.

That is all. We now return you to your regularly scheduled school day.

The Decider

Greetings, my fellow Americans,

It is with great pride, and a somber sense of privilege that I write this e-mail. It occurs to me, this morning, what a great honor it truly is to be able to work among such a diverse and professional group of individuals. As we tackle this first Friday in October, we should all take a moment to pause and remember how lucky and blessed we truly are, to work in such a dignified and worthwhile profession. Each one of us has the opportunity to impact in some amazing way the life of at the very least one truly special young person. As you read this e-mail, look around your room, and acknowledge the beauty and worth that lies in the hearts of each of the students in your room.

Regardless of your politics, remember, as we work with these young people, WE, each and every one of us, is building a very special bridge, one that does not lead to nowhere.

Thank you, and Godspeed.

(The committee will be back on Monday, and that should hopefully mean that you all won’t have to put up with another of these syrupy-sweet quasi-lectures.)

The Decider

Greetings fellow life-long learners...

The committee attended a lengthy meeting last night designed to break them
of the nasty habit they have developed of shirking their responsibilities.

It did not work.

However, they have decided to offer the value-added service of increased
consumerism on the part of the recipient of these e-mails. (I went to a
business meeting last night and learned all kinds of neat "business-y
words", and I'm trying to integrate them into my daily vocabulary. If this
presents a problem for you, lets not e-mail about it, lets interface. I
think that means "talk in person", but I'm not sure.)

So, to "roll out" this new initiative, here is today's task: Ask that ONE
kid who presses all your buttons and another student to eat lunch with you,
and then try to learn at least two things about that student that will help
you understand where he or she is coming from.

(Yes, I'm serious. No, you don't have to, but...well, geez, can't you just
follow the "committee's" directions mindlessly for once?!)

Thank you, and Godspeed...

The Decider

Greetings.

After a day full of stressful and emotionally taxing meetings yesterday, the
committee has decided again to take another day off. (With the sincerest of
apologies.) However, before leaving for their one-day vacation, they did
send word that today would be much more pleasant then yesterday. The
official word is that there will be no fights, no threats, no arguing, no
kicking in doors, no angry words, and most certainly no glares. (However,
there will be quite a few eye-rolls, but the committee is working on
eliminating that...it's a challenge for them.)

Please enjoy, with the committee's compliments.

The Decider

Greetings.

The committee convened all weekend in order to discuss what kind of a rescue package they could put together for us as we are facing the year 2014. There was much partisan rancor, but throughout it all, I believe, the best interests of the children, and the staff, were at the heart of the conversation. As of right now, there has been no progress, as a consensus has not yet been reached. However, I am hopeful, and optimistic, that the factions involved can indeed overcome their differences for the good of our future.

And, because the committee was in session all weekend, discussing more important matters, they have decided that it is up to me to determine what today is going to look like. I, in turn, am passing the buck on to you all. What, in your opinion, will today look like? Please send a self-addressed envelope with your thoughts on the subject. (Or, you know, an e-mail.)

Thank you, and Godspeed.

The Decider

Greetings EWH,

It is my extreme pleasure to announce that today will be one of the most wonderful days in recent history. It will be down right autumnal, which should bring a smile to the face of anyone blessed with air to breathe. (If not the season, at least the fact that we get to say the word "autumnal." Try it if you don't believe me.)

Today's task is simple: Share one of your favorite memories from college. (Mine will be either when the squirrel urinated on me as I was going to class, or the time the teacher cancelled class and the whole class went to the Student Union Building together to get coffee and then sat on the quad talking about life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. (Or maybe we talked about which party to go to that weekend...I don't remember.)

So, enjoy that, and enjoy this most wonderfully autumnal of days.

Good luck, and Godspeed.

The Decider

...

The committee has formally requested that all of you who don't want their complimentary
picture chocolate give it to the Decider as payment for all of the hard work
he puts in in making the PSAs. And, as the Decider, this is absolutely the
most awkward message that the committee has asked me to write. So, sorry if
this is uncomfortable for you all, too. I mean, it's almost like I'm asking
for your chocolate. Man, the committee sure is demanding sometimes, you
know?

The Decider

Greetings.

The committee has no time for a message today. They are trying to determine
whether the bail out is a good plan, whether or not to allow the Treasury to
become an authoritative entity, and whether or not to back Senator Obama's
plan for financial security, or Senator McCain's. However, they did ask
that anyone who does know what today will look like, send word to the
Decider, so that he can, in turn, pass the word back on to the staff.

Good luck, and Godspeed.

The Decider

Good morning.

The committee hopes you all had a restful and rejuvenating weekend. The committee met briefly Friday night, and all day Saturday and Sunday in order to determine what today will look like.

I am pleased to announce that the committee has indeed decided that today will be unseasonably pleasant, with exceptionally few distractions and disruptions. There may be a few lingering outbursts here and there, but they are unavoidable. Those of us who are having a wonderful day (I will be) will be most appreciative to those who are not.

Today's task:

Read to your students from your favorite book for ten minutes. I know your schedule is already quite full, and I apologize for the inconvenience, but the committee was quite adamant that we all make room for this. So, please, do what you can, and send word to me which book you pick.

(I will be reading from "Love That Dog" by Sharon Creech.)

Good luck and Godspeed...

The Decider

Greetings;

The committee passed on word, after a very tense sub-committee meeting, that
not only will today be a day to remember forever, but this weekend will be a
combination of "wonderful" mixed with "glorious" with just a smattering of
"restful" to boot. Hopefully this will not create conflict with any of your
plans.

Today's task is: Tell your students about your "ideal" weekend.

(And, as a note, the committee would like to thank Mr. B for being the
ONLY one to send a school appropriate joke to "the Decider".)

For shame.

Enjoy the day and Godspeed...

Reverend The Decider

Greetings:

The committee has sent word that they are stuck in session and therefore
cannot pass on word as to what today will look like.

However, they do hope that the lack of a message today will make you all
appreciate the hard work and effort they put into their messages every day.
(As a personal note, I think the committee is a bunch of whiners, who think
a little too highly of themselves. But, that's just me.)

So, uh, good luck today, and let me know how things go.

The Decider

Greetings.

The committee met in a closed session last night to discuss whether or not
to allow the Federal Reserve Board to bail out AIG, and as we can all see on
the morning news circuit, the measure passed. (Albeit by a very close
margin.) The committee would like to assure everyone that, at least for
now, your finances are safe. However, this is subject to change without
prior notification.

The committee would like for everyone to send your best (and worst)
school-appropriate jokes to the decider, who will then compile a document
containing all of them, in order to stave off those blues which may indeed
set in during the cold winter months. We're doing this early so that you
slackers, (yes, I'm talking to you) can get on the ball early enough.

Today's trivia question is: "What animal are the Canary Islands named
after?"

Send your answer on the underside of an unopened snickers bar, C/O the
Decider.

That is all.

Godspeed,
The Decider

Greetings on this lovely Tuesday morning,

The committee met briefly last night before frantically running to the bank
to close their accounts and spent the rest of the evening hiding their
meager savings in either their backyard, under the front porch, or in their
mattresses.

I, however, found a great spot in the new tiles in the fifth grade hallways.
So, if anyone would like to be proactive and stave off the potential dangers
of our present national financial predicament, you are invited to send all
of your savings in labeled coffee tins to the Decider's room.

Today will be much like yesterday: pleasant, quiet, and enjoyable.

And, in other news, the world has not yet ended.

Thank you, and Godspeed.

Reverend* The Decider

*Yes, I am actually ordained; you can see the ordination certificate in my
room for verification.

Greetings,

The committee had a restful and enjoyable weekend, and hopes that you all
did, too. However, if you did not, this week promises to be a restful and
uneventful one. Indeed, the children will be polite, respectful,
cooperative, and inspired, choosing only to do good, and never...not good.
So, you know, enjoy that.

Today's task is to a graduated task. For those of you who HAVE picked your
secret person that you are going to encourage, today you should actively
seek a way to encourage that person. For those of you who have NOT yet
picked a staff member, your task is to get off your keister and pick
someone. (Keister being the committee-selected word.)

As always, good luck, and Godspeed.

The Decider

Greetings;

The committee met last night in a closed session to determine what today is
going to look like. As you can all see, it is going to look wet. However,
this rain will be delivering a special "rejuvenating" quality that will make
the week end with a particularly cheery outlook. While it may seem dreary
and dismal to some, it is actually quietly and subtly refreshing every cell
and atom in your being. (This may or may not be related to the proton
smashing going on beneath the French and Swiss border; it's too early to
tell on that score.)

So, to conclude, please be aware of the ineffable aura surrounding our
building today; it may be intangible, but it is nonetheless very real
indeed.

Good luck, and Godspeed.

The Decider

Greetings:

The committee has asked me to pass along the following information for any of you who may be able to make use of it.

The deadline to register to vote in the upcoming election for President of the United States is October 8th, 2008. If you have any desire to exercise your civic responsibility, please make sure that you are registered. To register to vote, visit one of the many Kansas City, Raytown, Independence, or Lee's Summit Public Libraries. The process is quick, painless, and will give you the chance to check out that latest Danielle Steele novel you've been wanting to read.

In other news: The world has STILL not ended. As always, further updates will follow.

Today will be fantastic, with a chance of the apocalypse.

That is all.

The Decider

Greetings.

The committee has asked me to give everyone the official word that the world
has indeed not been destroyed yet from that physics experiment in
Switzerland, but we will pass on word as quickly as possible if the end does
come.

The committee has also asked me to send word that today will run especially
smoothly so that we can spend most of our time sending our thoughts and
prayers to Linda and her mom.

Thank you, and Godspeed.

The Decider

Greetings.

The committee has asked me to pass on some sober news. The following link is to a news article that we all may find pertinent for our plans for the week.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/09/08/lhc.collider/index.html

However, because this article refers to the possible end of the world in the next week or two, it seems odd to me that we should waste valuable minutes reading a lengthy article, so I will sum it up for you now: Apparently, some physicists in Switzerland are planning on recreating the moments just prior to the Big Bang, which presents the possibility that a man-made earth-eating black hole would be created in the middle of Europe. (As a legitimate PSA, please transfer all of your funds out of that Swiss Bank Account post haste.) It should be noted that this may indeed have a significant impact on the fall premiere of your favorite television shows. (On the bright side, it may bring to a swift conclusion the lengthy campaign season for those of you who don’t like politics.)

Stay tuned for further updates as warranted.

The Decider

A most humble welcome on this beautiful morning.

The committee had a weekend long retreat that consisted of many great
conversations about the direction the school year is going to take. It is
my divine pleasure to announce that with only a few exceptions, this year
will be unsurpassed by it's greatness. Each day will bring forth untold
rewards and golden moments. Each day will contain a brand new awakening
that will effect each student in a unique and special way, one that will
broaden their horizons, shape their futures, and allow each of us to see the
difference we are making in the lives of these young people.

However, because of the nature of working with a committee, we can also
expect that there might be a few glitches in the system, and therefore, a
day or two over the course of the next several months that might seem to be
out of sync with this decree. It is simply a necessary evil, and an
unavoidable complication. The committee invites everyone to share with 'the
Decider' your triumphs, and, your stumbles, too, as it is necessary for that
communication to occur in order for the committee to work through those
kinks in the system.

Thank you, and Godspeed...

The Decider

Greetings and Happy Friday.

The committee has asked me to apologize, again, for the confusion yesterday.
It has come to the committee's attention that some people had a day that was
more in line with the FIRST e-mail, and not the second e-mail. That is
regrettable, and the committee is currently looking into any possible
restitution that can be made. You may be called in to appear before the
committee to testify to how difficult yesterday was. This would be merely a
formality, but your honesty and cooperation in this matter is greatly
appreciated.

Today, however, will be quite different. As a means to make amends for
yesterday, you can all expect to have an exceptional day today. (Get it?
Expect...the exceptional? I worked the district's motto into this e-mail,
isn't that cool?!)

Be prepared, and enjoy the day.

The Decider

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The committee has just sent me a very harsh and thorough memo informing me that because of the typo in the previous PSA, in which I incorrectly typed "now" instead of "know", the entire message has been scrapped. Apparently, today will not be a “rough one”, but instead will be “quite pleasant indeed”. Sorry for the mixed messages, and I assure you, this will not happen again.

Please make any changes to your plans that you need to.

My most humble and sincere apologies...

The reasonable and open to suggestions Decider

Greetings.

The committee has asked me to prepare you for today. In light of the fact that we all indeed love our kids, it is inevitable that we will on occasion have a day such as today, because, as we all now, and as 80's rock star Pat Benatar so eloquently put it, "Love is a Battlefield". So, ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves. Hunker down, get a stock of supplies ready, because today is going to be a rough one.

Good night, and good luck.

The Decider

Greetings on this rainy morning...

Greetings on this rainy morning.

The committee has asked me to pass on that today will be, unfortunately,
soggy. Sorry about that, but it couldn't be helped. The sub-committee in
charge of weather related issues was stuck in session in Minneapolis. They
send their sincerest of apologies. But, they hope that you all, like Snoop
Dog, brought your umbrellas. Why, you ask? Fo' drizzle.

The task for this morning is teach all of your students the word "facetious"
and it's adverbial counterpart, "facetiously". The cool word tip of the day
is that facetious and facetiously are the only two words in the English
language that have all the vowels, and they are in alphabetical order.

We fully expect those kindergartners and first graders to be talking about
these two words by the end of the day.

Thank you, and Godspeed...

The Decider

Greetings...

The committee met briefly yesterday to discuss the outlook for the current week, and surmised that it will be, in a word: short.

Other words that could be used to describe this week are: warm, even-numbered, enjoyable, and our favorite, breezy.

Plan accordingly.

The task for today is another long-term one. In light of the current socio-political climate, the committee has asked each of us to begin to formulate a plan for how to introduce our political system to our kids. The only stipulations are that your discussion/lessons need be fair and honest. Please send all ideas to The Decider.

Godspeed...

The Decider

Good morning,

The committee had an extensive meeting last night to discuss the abdication
of their responsibilities, as well as how they can fulfill their
responsibilities from now on. After 4 and a half hours of concerted effort,
no conclusion was reached.

However, they were able to decide that today will set a new high water mark
for the year. In fact, I believe the exact word used to describe today was
something along the lines of "glorious", and, in a fit of uncharacteristic
optimism, tomorrow will actually put today to shame. (The exact words were
excessively, fantastically, amazingly, awesomely, righteously, inordinately
good.)

So, congratulations fellow mind-openers, and enjoy.
You've earned it.

Today's task? It's a continuation of last week's oh-so-successful task.
The committee wants you to find that one student who you have YET to see the
good in, and concentrate ALL day (of course, without forgetting the others)
on finding something really great to praise about him or her.

Go to it.

The Decider

Belated greetings fellow enlighteners,

The committee met briefly this morning to pass word on to me that today will
be, unfortunately, chaotic. (As evidenced by the late disbursement of this
e-mail.) Please be aware of the change in our routine, and make any
adaptations that may be necessary.

From the trenches...

The Decider

Greetings,

The committee met briefly last night and was able to come to a unanimous
decision that today will be both soggy and rejuvenating. Today will be
exactly what everyone in the building needs in order to come to school
tomorrow reinvigorated and excited for our first Friday of the year.

Enjoy.

Today's task is quite simple. The committee requests that every staff
member find one student that...might already be proving to be a bit of a
challenge, and find one really, really positive thing to tell that student.
Please report to the Decider what was said, and what the response was.

Thank you, and good luck.

The Decider

Greetings,

Greetings.

Again, it is with great pleasure that I send this e-mail. The committee met
last night to decide what today would look like, and I am glad to say, it
indeed looks to be a phenomenal day, one the likes of which have never
before been seen at this school.

So, armed with this knowledge, please make ready your minds, your spirits,
and your entire selves, for what could quite possibly go down in the record
books as the single greatest first day in all of history*.

Also, I would like to pass on a request from the committee. In light of the
last PSA, which you all should have received, I would ask that you send me
the name of the staff member you have chosen to "encourage", so that the
committee may pick up any slack and take care of anyone that may have been
overlooked. Again, if you have NOT chosen to participate (shame on you!)
that is fine.

Today's task is especially important. The committee has requested that
during this morning, we all pay particular attention to any student who is
new here at EWH. At or near the end of the day, the committee would like
all of us, (not just classroom teachers!!!) to take one of the new students
aside, and tell them how glad we are that they have joined our community of
learners.

Be ready to report on this BEFORE our Community Circle this afternoon.

That is all.

The Decider