Greetings,

The Committee has decided that today, in addition to the Public Service Announcement we usually provide, we are also going to be providing you all with an actual Public Service.

It is about this time of year when motivation can be somewhat lacking. In order to help you all, we have provided you with the following list of acceptable excuses, should the necessity arise for you to be late for work.*

In no particular order, the Top 12 Late for Work Excuses:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.

2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.

3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.

4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.

5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.

6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.

7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.

8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.

9. My father didn't wake me up.

10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.

11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.

12. I had to go to bingo.

Please feel free to hit “reply” with your own suggestions for LFW Excuses, and the Committee will pass on the best and the brightest.

Oh, and today will either be: “MAPTASTIC” or “go back to bed bad”. The jury is out on that one.

(As always, I’m leaning towards the first one, but I’m not here to judge.)

Tommy ‘the hoping Julie finds the excuses funny and not insubordinate Decider’ Estlund

*Not a guarantee!