PSA

Greetings,

The Committee has decided to do a Stress-Test on themselves, and the result was, they are too stressed.  Symptoms include a low-grade headache, irritability, anxiety, blurred vision, constipation, itchy teeth, premonitions, crows feet, constantly craving hamburgers with peanut butter, inability to control the volume of their voice, stinky feet, irregular fingernail growth, constant 3-day stubble, reverse-onset puberty, hot flashes, cold flashes, luke-warm flashes, color-blindness, thick tongue syndrome (TTS), nausea, vomiting, sleep loss, internal bleeding, internal combustion, a sudden craving to sniff your carpet, heartburn, hair loss, diarrhea, dry mouth, water retention, painful rectal itch, hallucination, dementia, psychosis, coma, death, halitosis, an addiction to cocaine, heroin, PCP, speed and Windex, bone weakening, claustrophobia, acne and that creepy feeling you get when it feels like someone is watching you.

And, because I feel like someone REALLY is watching me, (it's that kid in the third row who isn't reading), I have to go.  Today will be: problematic.

That is all.

Tommy 'the Decider with AWESOME side-effects' Estlund