The committee convened all weekend in order to discuss what kind of a rescue package they could put together for us as we are facing the year 2014. There was much partisan rancor, but throughout it all, I believe, the best interests of the children, and the staff, were at the heart of the conversation. As of right now, there has been no progress, as a consensus has not yet been reached. However, I am hopeful, and optimistic, that the factions involved can indeed overcome their differences for the good of our future.
And, because the committee was in session all weekend, discussing more important matters, they have decided that it is up to me to determine what today is going to look like. I, in turn, am passing the buck on to you all. What, in your opinion, will today look like? Please send a self-addressed envelope with your thoughts on the subject. (Or, you know, an e-mail.)
Thank you, and Godspeed.
The Decider
Monday, September 29, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Greetings EWH,
It is my extreme pleasure to announce that today will be one of the most wonderful days in recent history. It will be down right autumnal, which should bring a smile to the face of anyone blessed with air to breathe. (If not the season, at least the fact that we get to say the word "autumnal." Try it if you don't believe me.)
Today's task is simple: Share one of your favorite memories from college. (Mine will be either when the squirrel urinated on me as I was going to class, or the time the teacher cancelled class and the whole class went to the Student Union Building together to get coffee and then sat on the quad talking about life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. (Or maybe we talked about which party to go to that weekend...I don't remember.)
So, enjoy that, and enjoy this most wonderfully autumnal of days.
Good luck, and Godspeed.
The Decider
Today's task is simple: Share one of your favorite memories from college. (Mine will be either when the squirrel urinated on me as I was going to class, or the time the teacher cancelled class and the whole class went to the Student Union Building together to get coffee and then sat on the quad talking about life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. (Or maybe we talked about which party to go to that weekend...I don't remember.)
So, enjoy that, and enjoy this most wonderfully autumnal of days.
Good luck, and Godspeed.
The Decider
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
...
The committee has formally requested that all of you who don't want their complimentary
picture chocolate give it to the Decider as payment for all of the hard work
he puts in in making the PSAs. And, as the Decider, this is absolutely the
most awkward message that the committee has asked me to write. So, sorry if
this is uncomfortable for you all, too. I mean, it's almost like I'm asking
for your chocolate. Man, the committee sure is demanding sometimes, you
know?
The Decider
picture chocolate give it to the Decider as payment for all of the hard work
he puts in in making the PSAs. And, as the Decider, this is absolutely the
most awkward message that the committee has asked me to write. So, sorry if
this is uncomfortable for you all, too. I mean, it's almost like I'm asking
for your chocolate. Man, the committee sure is demanding sometimes, you
know?
The Decider
Greetings.
The committee has no time for a message today. They are trying to determine
whether the bail out is a good plan, whether or not to allow the Treasury to
become an authoritative entity, and whether or not to back Senator Obama's
plan for financial security, or Senator McCain's. However, they did ask
that anyone who does know what today will look like, send word to the
Decider, so that he can, in turn, pass the word back on to the staff.
Good luck, and Godspeed.
The Decider
whether the bail out is a good plan, whether or not to allow the Treasury to
become an authoritative entity, and whether or not to back Senator Obama's
plan for financial security, or Senator McCain's. However, they did ask
that anyone who does know what today will look like, send word to the
Decider, so that he can, in turn, pass the word back on to the staff.
Good luck, and Godspeed.
The Decider
Monday, September 22, 2008
Good morning.
The committee hopes you all had a restful and rejuvenating weekend. The committee met briefly Friday night, and all day Saturday and Sunday in order to determine what today will look like.
I am pleased to announce that the committee has indeed decided that today will be unseasonably pleasant, with exceptionally few distractions and disruptions. There may be a few lingering outbursts here and there, but they are unavoidable. Those of us who are having a wonderful day (I will be) will be most appreciative to those who are not.
Today's task:
Read to your students from your favorite book for ten minutes. I know your schedule is already quite full, and I apologize for the inconvenience, but the committee was quite adamant that we all make room for this. So, please, do what you can, and send word to me which book you pick.
(I will be reading from "Love That Dog" by Sharon Creech.)
Good luck and Godspeed...
The Decider
I am pleased to announce that the committee has indeed decided that today will be unseasonably pleasant, with exceptionally few distractions and disruptions. There may be a few lingering outbursts here and there, but they are unavoidable. Those of us who are having a wonderful day (I will be) will be most appreciative to those who are not.
Today's task:
Read to your students from your favorite book for ten minutes. I know your schedule is already quite full, and I apologize for the inconvenience, but the committee was quite adamant that we all make room for this. So, please, do what you can, and send word to me which book you pick.
(I will be reading from "Love That Dog" by Sharon Creech.)
Good luck and Godspeed...
The Decider
Friday, September 19, 2008
Greetings;
The committee passed on word, after a very tense sub-committee meeting, that
not only will today be a day to remember forever, but this weekend will be a
combination of "wonderful" mixed with "glorious" with just a smattering of
"restful" to boot. Hopefully this will not create conflict with any of your
plans.
Today's task is: Tell your students about your "ideal" weekend.
(And, as a note, the committee would like to thank Mr. B for being the
ONLY one to send a school appropriate joke to "the Decider".)
For shame.
Enjoy the day and Godspeed...
Reverend The Decider
not only will today be a day to remember forever, but this weekend will be a
combination of "wonderful" mixed with "glorious" with just a smattering of
"restful" to boot. Hopefully this will not create conflict with any of your
plans.
Today's task is: Tell your students about your "ideal" weekend.
(And, as a note, the committee would like to thank Mr. B for being the
ONLY one to send a school appropriate joke to "the Decider".)
For shame.
Enjoy the day and Godspeed...
Reverend The Decider
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Greetings:
The committee has sent word that they are stuck in session and therefore
cannot pass on word as to what today will look like.
However, they do hope that the lack of a message today will make you all
appreciate the hard work and effort they put into their messages every day.
(As a personal note, I think the committee is a bunch of whiners, who think
a little too highly of themselves. But, that's just me.)
So, uh, good luck today, and let me know how things go.
The Decider
cannot pass on word as to what today will look like.
However, they do hope that the lack of a message today will make you all
appreciate the hard work and effort they put into their messages every day.
(As a personal note, I think the committee is a bunch of whiners, who think
a little too highly of themselves. But, that's just me.)
So, uh, good luck today, and let me know how things go.
The Decider
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Greetings.
The committee met in a closed session last night to discuss whether or not
to allow the Federal Reserve Board to bail out AIG, and as we can all see on
the morning news circuit, the measure passed. (Albeit by a very close
margin.) The committee would like to assure everyone that, at least for
now, your finances are safe. However, this is subject to change without
prior notification.
The committee would like for everyone to send your best (and worst)
school-appropriate jokes to the decider, who will then compile a document
containing all of them, in order to stave off those blues which may indeed
set in during the cold winter months. We're doing this early so that you
slackers, (yes, I'm talking to you) can get on the ball early enough.
Today's trivia question is: "What animal are the Canary Islands named
after?"
Send your answer on the underside of an unopened snickers bar, C/O the
Decider.
That is all.
Godspeed,
The Decider
to allow the Federal Reserve Board to bail out AIG, and as we can all see on
the morning news circuit, the measure passed. (Albeit by a very close
margin.) The committee would like to assure everyone that, at least for
now, your finances are safe. However, this is subject to change without
prior notification.
The committee would like for everyone to send your best (and worst)
school-appropriate jokes to the decider, who will then compile a document
containing all of them, in order to stave off those blues which may indeed
set in during the cold winter months. We're doing this early so that you
slackers, (yes, I'm talking to you) can get on the ball early enough.
Today's trivia question is: "What animal are the Canary Islands named
after?"
Send your answer on the underside of an unopened snickers bar, C/O the
Decider.
That is all.
Godspeed,
The Decider
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Greetings on this lovely Tuesday morning,
The committee met briefly last night before frantically running to the bank
to close their accounts and spent the rest of the evening hiding their
meager savings in either their backyard, under the front porch, or in their
mattresses.
I, however, found a great spot in the new tiles in the fifth grade hallways.
So, if anyone would like to be proactive and stave off the potential dangers
of our present national financial predicament, you are invited to send all
of your savings in labeled coffee tins to the Decider's room.
Today will be much like yesterday: pleasant, quiet, and enjoyable.
And, in other news, the world has not yet ended.
Thank you, and Godspeed.
Reverend* The Decider
*Yes, I am actually ordained; you can see the ordination certificate in my
room for verification.
to close their accounts and spent the rest of the evening hiding their
meager savings in either their backyard, under the front porch, or in their
mattresses.
I, however, found a great spot in the new tiles in the fifth grade hallways.
So, if anyone would like to be proactive and stave off the potential dangers
of our present national financial predicament, you are invited to send all
of your savings in labeled coffee tins to the Decider's room.
Today will be much like yesterday: pleasant, quiet, and enjoyable.
And, in other news, the world has not yet ended.
Thank you, and Godspeed.
Reverend* The Decider
*Yes, I am actually ordained; you can see the ordination certificate in my
room for verification.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Greetings,
The committee had a restful and enjoyable weekend, and hopes that you all
did, too. However, if you did not, this week promises to be a restful and
uneventful one. Indeed, the children will be polite, respectful,
cooperative, and inspired, choosing only to do good, and never...not good.
So, you know, enjoy that.
Today's task is to a graduated task. For those of you who HAVE picked your
secret person that you are going to encourage, today you should actively
seek a way to encourage that person. For those of you who have NOT yet
picked a staff member, your task is to get off your keister and pick
someone. (Keister being the committee-selected word.)
As always, good luck, and Godspeed.
The Decider
did, too. However, if you did not, this week promises to be a restful and
uneventful one. Indeed, the children will be polite, respectful,
cooperative, and inspired, choosing only to do good, and never...not good.
So, you know, enjoy that.
Today's task is to a graduated task. For those of you who HAVE picked your
secret person that you are going to encourage, today you should actively
seek a way to encourage that person. For those of you who have NOT yet
picked a staff member, your task is to get off your keister and pick
someone. (Keister being the committee-selected word.)
As always, good luck, and Godspeed.
The Decider
Friday, September 12, 2008
Greetings;
The committee met last night in a closed session to determine what today is
going to look like. As you can all see, it is going to look wet. However,
this rain will be delivering a special "rejuvenating" quality that will make
the week end with a particularly cheery outlook. While it may seem dreary
and dismal to some, it is actually quietly and subtly refreshing every cell
and atom in your being. (This may or may not be related to the proton
smashing going on beneath the French and Swiss border; it's too early to
tell on that score.)
So, to conclude, please be aware of the ineffable aura surrounding our
building today; it may be intangible, but it is nonetheless very real
indeed.
Good luck, and Godspeed.
The Decider
going to look like. As you can all see, it is going to look wet. However,
this rain will be delivering a special "rejuvenating" quality that will make
the week end with a particularly cheery outlook. While it may seem dreary
and dismal to some, it is actually quietly and subtly refreshing every cell
and atom in your being. (This may or may not be related to the proton
smashing going on beneath the French and Swiss border; it's too early to
tell on that score.)
So, to conclude, please be aware of the ineffable aura surrounding our
building today; it may be intangible, but it is nonetheless very real
indeed.
Good luck, and Godspeed.
The Decider
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Greetings:
The committee has asked me to pass along the following information for any of you who may be able to make use of it.
The deadline to register to vote in the upcoming election for President of the United States is October 8th, 2008. If you have any desire to exercise your civic responsibility, please make sure that you are registered. To register to vote, visit one of the many Kansas City, Raytown, Independence, or Lee's Summit Public Libraries. The process is quick, painless, and will give you the chance to check out that latest Danielle Steele novel you've been wanting to read.
In other news: The world has STILL not ended. As always, further updates will follow.
Today will be fantastic, with a chance of the apocalypse.
That is all.
The Decider
The deadline to register to vote in the upcoming election for President of the United States is October 8th, 2008. If you have any desire to exercise your civic responsibility, please make sure that you are registered. To register to vote, visit one of the many Kansas City, Raytown, Independence, or Lee's Summit Public Libraries. The process is quick, painless, and will give you the chance to check out that latest Danielle Steele novel you've been wanting to read.
In other news: The world has STILL not ended. As always, further updates will follow.
Today will be fantastic, with a chance of the apocalypse.
That is all.
The Decider
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Greetings.
The committee has asked me to give everyone the official word that the world
has indeed not been destroyed yet from that physics experiment in
Switzerland, but we will pass on word as quickly as possible if the end does
come.
The committee has also asked me to send word that today will run especially
smoothly so that we can spend most of our time sending our thoughts and
prayers to Linda and her mom.
Thank you, and Godspeed.
The Decider
has indeed not been destroyed yet from that physics experiment in
Switzerland, but we will pass on word as quickly as possible if the end does
come.
The committee has also asked me to send word that today will run especially
smoothly so that we can spend most of our time sending our thoughts and
prayers to Linda and her mom.
Thank you, and Godspeed.
The Decider
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Greetings.
The committee has asked me to pass on some sober news. The following link is to a news article that we all may find pertinent for our plans for the week.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/09/08/lhc.collider/index.html
However, because this article refers to the possible end of the world in the next week or two, it seems odd to me that we should waste valuable minutes reading a lengthy article, so I will sum it up for you now: Apparently, some physicists in Switzerland are planning on recreating the moments just prior to the Big Bang, which presents the possibility that a man-made earth-eating black hole would be created in the middle of Europe. (As a legitimate PSA, please transfer all of your funds out of that Swiss Bank Account post haste.) It should be noted that this may indeed have a significant impact on the fall premiere of your favorite television shows. (On the bright side, it may bring to a swift conclusion the lengthy campaign season for those of you who don’t like politics.)
Stay tuned for further updates as warranted.
The Decider
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/09/08/lhc.collider/index.html
However, because this article refers to the possible end of the world in the next week or two, it seems odd to me that we should waste valuable minutes reading a lengthy article, so I will sum it up for you now: Apparently, some physicists in Switzerland are planning on recreating the moments just prior to the Big Bang, which presents the possibility that a man-made earth-eating black hole would be created in the middle of Europe. (As a legitimate PSA, please transfer all of your funds out of that Swiss Bank Account post haste.) It should be noted that this may indeed have a significant impact on the fall premiere of your favorite television shows. (On the bright side, it may bring to a swift conclusion the lengthy campaign season for those of you who don’t like politics.)
Stay tuned for further updates as warranted.
The Decider
Monday, September 8, 2008
A most humble welcome on this beautiful morning.
The committee had a weekend long retreat that consisted of many great
conversations about the direction the school year is going to take. It is
my divine pleasure to announce that with only a few exceptions, this year
will be unsurpassed by it's greatness. Each day will bring forth untold
rewards and golden moments. Each day will contain a brand new awakening
that will effect each student in a unique and special way, one that will
broaden their horizons, shape their futures, and allow each of us to see the
difference we are making in the lives of these young people.
However, because of the nature of working with a committee, we can also
expect that there might be a few glitches in the system, and therefore, a
day or two over the course of the next several months that might seem to be
out of sync with this decree. It is simply a necessary evil, and an
unavoidable complication. The committee invites everyone to share with 'the
Decider' your triumphs, and, your stumbles, too, as it is necessary for that
communication to occur in order for the committee to work through those
kinks in the system.
Thank you, and Godspeed...
The Decider
conversations about the direction the school year is going to take. It is
my divine pleasure to announce that with only a few exceptions, this year
will be unsurpassed by it's greatness. Each day will bring forth untold
rewards and golden moments. Each day will contain a brand new awakening
that will effect each student in a unique and special way, one that will
broaden their horizons, shape their futures, and allow each of us to see the
difference we are making in the lives of these young people.
However, because of the nature of working with a committee, we can also
expect that there might be a few glitches in the system, and therefore, a
day or two over the course of the next several months that might seem to be
out of sync with this decree. It is simply a necessary evil, and an
unavoidable complication. The committee invites everyone to share with 'the
Decider' your triumphs, and, your stumbles, too, as it is necessary for that
communication to occur in order for the committee to work through those
kinks in the system.
Thank you, and Godspeed...
The Decider
Friday, September 5, 2008
Greetings and Happy Friday.
The committee has asked me to apologize, again, for the confusion yesterday.
It has come to the committee's attention that some people had a day that was
more in line with the FIRST e-mail, and not the second e-mail. That is
regrettable, and the committee is currently looking into any possible
restitution that can be made. You may be called in to appear before the
committee to testify to how difficult yesterday was. This would be merely a
formality, but your honesty and cooperation in this matter is greatly
appreciated.
Today, however, will be quite different. As a means to make amends for
yesterday, you can all expect to have an exceptional day today. (Get it?
Expect...the exceptional? I worked the district's motto into this e-mail,
isn't that cool?!)
Be prepared, and enjoy the day.
The Decider
It has come to the committee's attention that some people had a day that was
more in line with the FIRST e-mail, and not the second e-mail. That is
regrettable, and the committee is currently looking into any possible
restitution that can be made. You may be called in to appear before the
committee to testify to how difficult yesterday was. This would be merely a
formality, but your honesty and cooperation in this matter is greatly
appreciated.
Today, however, will be quite different. As a means to make amends for
yesterday, you can all expect to have an exceptional day today. (Get it?
Expect...the exceptional? I worked the district's motto into this e-mail,
isn't that cool?!)
Be prepared, and enjoy the day.
The Decider
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Ladies and Gentlemen,
The committee has just sent me a very harsh and thorough memo informing me that because of the typo in the previous PSA, in which I incorrectly typed "now" instead of "know", the entire message has been scrapped. Apparently, today will not be a “rough one”, but instead will be “quite pleasant indeed”. Sorry for the mixed messages, and I assure you, this will not happen again.
Please make any changes to your plans that you need to.
My most humble and sincere apologies...
The reasonable and open to suggestions Decider
Please make any changes to your plans that you need to.
My most humble and sincere apologies...
The reasonable and open to suggestions Decider
Greetings.
The committee has asked me to prepare you for today. In light of the fact that we all indeed love our kids, it is inevitable that we will on occasion have a day such as today, because, as we all now, and as 80's rock star Pat Benatar so eloquently put it, "Love is a Battlefield". So, ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves. Hunker down, get a stock of supplies ready, because today is going to be a rough one.
Good night, and good luck.
The Decider
Good night, and good luck.
The Decider
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Greetings on this rainy morning...
Greetings on this rainy morning.
The committee has asked me to pass on that today will be, unfortunately,
soggy. Sorry about that, but it couldn't be helped. The sub-committee in
charge of weather related issues was stuck in session in Minneapolis. They
send their sincerest of apologies. But, they hope that you all, like Snoop
Dog, brought your umbrellas. Why, you ask? Fo' drizzle.
The task for this morning is teach all of your students the word "facetious"
and it's adverbial counterpart, "facetiously". The cool word tip of the day
is that facetious and facetiously are the only two words in the English
language that have all the vowels, and they are in alphabetical order.
We fully expect those kindergartners and first graders to be talking about
these two words by the end of the day.
Thank you, and Godspeed...
The Decider
The committee has asked me to pass on that today will be, unfortunately,
soggy. Sorry about that, but it couldn't be helped. The sub-committee in
charge of weather related issues was stuck in session in Minneapolis. They
send their sincerest of apologies. But, they hope that you all, like Snoop
Dog, brought your umbrellas. Why, you ask? Fo' drizzle.
The task for this morning is teach all of your students the word "facetious"
and it's adverbial counterpart, "facetiously". The cool word tip of the day
is that facetious and facetiously are the only two words in the English
language that have all the vowels, and they are in alphabetical order.
We fully expect those kindergartners and first graders to be talking about
these two words by the end of the day.
Thank you, and Godspeed...
The Decider
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Greetings...
The committee met briefly yesterday to discuss the outlook for the current week, and surmised that it will be, in a word: short.
Other words that could be used to describe this week are: warm, even-numbered, enjoyable, and our favorite, breezy.
Plan accordingly.
The task for today is another long-term one. In light of the current socio-political climate, the committee has asked each of us to begin to formulate a plan for how to introduce our political system to our kids. The only stipulations are that your discussion/lessons need be fair and honest. Please send all ideas to The Decider.
Godspeed...
The Decider
Other words that could be used to describe this week are: warm, even-numbered, enjoyable, and our favorite, breezy.
Plan accordingly.
The task for today is another long-term one. In light of the current socio-political climate, the committee has asked each of us to begin to formulate a plan for how to introduce our political system to our kids. The only stipulations are that your discussion/lessons need be fair and honest. Please send all ideas to The Decider.
Godspeed...
The Decider
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