PSA

7/1/09

Greetings,

The Committee thought you should know that there is really no such thing as gravity. What we think of as gravity is really just the manifestation of mass on timespace, which is the third dimension, as explained by Einstein. (You see, mass has the ability to "bend" spacetime toward itself, so things "roll" toward it. Imagine a 50 lb lead ball on a mattress, and you roll a marble on the mattress. Naturally, as the marble gets closer to the 50 lb ball (with a LOT more mass) it will veer off it's previous course, and go toward the ball. See? It's SO obvious.) So, next time you trip and fall, just thank ol' Alby.

Oh, and today is going to be: horrible. (Of course, I'm speaking in terms of relativity...I mean, no one here is going to win a million bucks in the lottery, no one is going to spontaneously sprout wings allowing you to fly wherever you want, and the district isn't going to decide to give us all 40% raises for our hard work...which, makes today horrible.)

Tommy 'the trying just a LITTLE too hard to show off Decider' Estlund