Good morning,

The committee, in response to a request by a concerned citizen, has decided
that today will have a decidedly hopeful outlook. While they are unable at
this time to guarantee a wonderful day will be had by all, the forecast is
indeed favorable, so please plan accordingly.

In order to ensure quality customer care, please feel free to contact a
member of the committee with any specific requests you may have regarding
the daily PSA. It is the committee's hope that in time, all needs may be
met in a timely and expedient fashion.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

The concerned-for-your-needs Decider

Greetings,

The committee met last night and I have great news to report. After yesterdays...well, somewhat less than optimistic report, today will indeed be...dare I say...spectacular?

Apparently, although reports are somewhat sketchy, shockingly wonderful things are in store. So, be prepared to be wowed by the wonderfulness that is...today.

In other news, according to NBC news, pirate attacks are up 70% this year.*

Thank you, and Godspeed...

The hopeful Decider

*actual statistics

Greetings EWH,

The committee met briefly last night to discuss what today will look like. I
am sad to day, the outlook is bleak. The committee was despondent,
pessimistic, and hopeless. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Godspeed...

The Decider who NEEDS HELP