PSA

Greetings,

The Committee met yesterday, and this morning, to determine the outcome for you all, as well as today’s YOU SHOULD KNOW.

Today should be mostly sunny with a high in the mid to high 80’s, with a 98% chance of Awesome, and YOU SHOULD KNOW:  Croup is a horrible, godless, despicable, and ugly thing, and we shall not give it the respect of speaking of it ever again.

That is all.

Tommy ‘the ticked off at viruses Decider’ Estlund

PSA

Greetings,

The Committee met last night and decided, unanimously, that today will indeed be: copasetic.  It will also be groovy.  And, fly.  Oh, and also neat-o.  Cooper says it will be hip, but I’m not particularly sure he knows what he’s talking about.  (You know, sixth graders think they know everything.)

Also:  

YOU SHOULD KNOW

The band Led Zepplin got their name when Keith Moon, the drummer for The Who heard the band play for the first time.  Afterward, he told Robert Plant that his band would take off like a “lead zepplin”.  Plant then decided to take out the a so as to not confuse people about the pronunciation.  

And, now you know.  As a bonus, the Muppet called Animal was modeled after Who drummer, Moon.

So, enjoy your copasetic, groovy, fly and partially “hip” day.

Tommy ‘the how does he come up with this stuff Decider’ Estlund

PSA

Greetings,

The Committee met on their secret compound, Juniper Valley River Society, (guess if they wanted that to be a secret, I prolly shouldn’t have told you all the name of it....ugh, ignore that last part, ok?) to discuss both today’s decision, and the “You Should Know” section.

Unfortunately, due to Juniper Valley being located 128 miles south of Lee’s Summit, and 17 miles due east, it took most of the evening to get there and back, and they had very little time to actually discuss.  (Oh, and I probably shouldn’t have told you where it was either...darn it!)

So, here is the slap-dash message as I received it:

YOU SHOULD KNOW:

Did you know baker’s of old were not the most ethical creatures.  In fact it was pretty well known that bakers used to dupe customer’s regularly by making loaves of bread that contained more air pockets then solid material.  By 1266, Parliament was fed up with their airy substances.  So the enacted a law where bread had to be solid by weight.  Most bakers didn’t have the proper weighing equipment, but the penalties were pretty extreme.  In fact, a Turkish version of the law stated that bakers were to be nailed to their shop doors by the ears if they shortchanged a customer.  Anyhow, bakers quickly decided that forking over an extra loaf for every dozen was an easy way to avoid the sentence.  Hence the number thirteen in a baker’s dozen.

And, today’s decision:  Today will be: Quixotic.

That is all.

Tommy ‘the making most of you look up the word “Quixotic” right now Decider’ Estlund

PSA

Greetings,

The Committee met this morning and decided that there is a very obvious need to included another feature in our daily e-mail.  So, as of today, we are creating the following daily feature:

YOU SHOULD KNOW!!!

Did you know that if the presidential heads on Mount Rushmore were given proportionally sized bodies, each would be 450 feet tall, which would enable them to walk UNDER the St. Louis Arch, which stands at 630 feet tall? We thought you should know.

Also, today will be Friday, which means it will be good.  So...uh, enjoy.

And, even thought I’ve said it before, it bears repeating:  If you’re driving out to the stadium this weekend, don’t forget to take your car.

Tommy ‘the using summer repeats just like everyone else Decider’ Estlund

PSA

Greetings,

The Committee met this morning, and it has been agreed that today will continue in line with the past two days, but will be even better.  (If you are looking for a more specific declaration, here you go: 82.89% better.)

Two notes of interest:  One:  Congratulations to both Mark Hoskins and Penny Teig for “finding” the grammar mistake in yesterday’s PSA.  You were correct in reporting to me that I should have used the word “too” instead of “to”.  Your reward?  Being on the short list of people the Committee finds annoying and nit-picky.

Two: Today is “Favorite Song Lyric Day”.  What is your favorite songs lyric?  I’ll begin:  “The wages of sin don’t adjust for inflation, and it’s a buyers markets when you’re selling your soul.”  --Jeffrey Foucault.

Your turn.

Tommy ‘the random-task assigning Decider’ Estlund

PSA

Greetings, and Happy Fanny-Pack Day,

The Committee met last night to discuss something that has been bothering them for a very long time.  It seems that there is some debate on a very important topic, and we would like to put this debacle to rest.

So, without further ado, the following is the Committee’s Official Guide to the Further/Farther debate.

You should use farther when you are talking about physical distance.  (I ran farther then you.)
You should use further when you are talking about metaphorical, or figurative distance.  (You bug me in so many ways; you talk to much, and further, you send annoying e-mails constantly.)

Now, what about those occasion which might not be so cut and dried?  For example, what if you were talking about how much you have read in a book?  You might want to say, “How much farther/further do I have before the end?”  The good news is this:  All authorities (who all report to the Committee for final say-so) suggest that for the past few hundred years, the words have been used interchangeably, so when the distinction between physical/metaphorical distance is unclear, you can use which ever you like.

That is all.

Today will be: Better than yesterday; further, it will be cold.

Tommy ‘the impressing you all with his ability to do a google-search Decider’ Estlund